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Why the bullying problem will never end, or get worse

March 6, 2013

This post may seem to jump around a bit, or perhaps be a great big ramble.  It’s not going to be short.  As is evident by my lack of posts, I use this blog more for the WordPress membership and to follow a few of my favorite political and “alternate news” personalities.  Today I’m going to sound off about an irritant of mine which is, media coverage of bullying and its adverse affects.

Let me start out by saying, I have been a victim of bullying spanning 3 decades.  Yes you read that right, I’m a current victim.  It started in junior high, where among other children I was dealing with a lot of changes and quickly.  For reasons that are concrete and specific that I’d rather not detail here, I was clumsy and socially inept and was picked on mercilessly every day.  So let’s stop there for a moment.  I was in the school band playing trombone, and had 3 multi-ethnic and multiracial friends.  I wasn’t particularly good looking, nor was I ever considered ugly.  I wasn’t even overweight until the 8th grade.  So you may ask, who were the bullies?  I’ll tell you and most probably won’t believe it.  The bullies were the trombone players sitting in 1st and 2nd chair.  The bullies were my friends who one day for no good reason, rejected me as a friend and nearly beat my ass during recess.  The bullies were the “hot” girls!  The bullies were also the delinquent kids (who I ended up hanging out with in high school) but every kid like me was either afraid of or getting bullied by them.  It’s my belief now that the primary emotional and psychological damage I suffered was caused by my immediate peers and the opposite sex.

It didn’t stop in high school, as a matter of fact the kids I went to high school with were assuredly spreading my reputation to kids from the other high schools.  Oddly enough, I was treated relatively well by the older kids.  I’m sure it had something to do with the fact my brother was a senior, yet it’s almost universal that freshmen in high school get at least a little hazing from the older classes.  So what would a 42 year old who was victim of bullies from his peer group likely conclude?  I would say, the older kids witnessed bullying or heard about my reputation and actually felt sorry for me and left me alone.

Is this blog all about me then?  I wouldn’t post these kind of events in my life publicly if it was.  Although I will say beyond a shadow of a doubt, bullying in this culture is so universal, widespread and common esp. in the “white collar” world hat I am genuinely surprised it doesn’t get that kind of media attention.  Why would it?  It’s much easier to point it out in children because 1) parents of this generation are very mindful if not overly obsessed with child rearing, 2) parents these days are EXTREMELY self-righteous about parenthood, an institution that by their evolutionary beliefs is millions of years old, billions of human beings have been parents and in actuality is entirely a common role in humanity that has nothing inherently special and unique about it, and 3) pointing out bullying in children and saying how “we must do something about it” is often from a psychological standpoint a means not only to convince oneself that they care or have done something concrete about it when there has been NOTHING done to reduce or stop it, or excuses the behavior when exercised by themselves or a current peer.  I suppose a fourth reason would be to replay and perhaps attempt to resolve bullying or being a victim of bullying in a person’s past, yet that has always been a factor with many other areas of life and doesn’t adequately explain the mainstream media’s obsession with it now.

So again, why am I writing about this?  I’m not a journalist.  Well, it’s for mainly selfish reasons and here is where I’ll digress for a bit, perhaps even get off topic.  I have an ex-friend, more like an acquaintance who is “straight edge”.  This is a particularly shallow and empty lifestyle where people pat themselves on the back for not using drugs, alcohol, tobacco and in more extreme cases, any form of caffeine.  Some do so for external religious reasons or health concerns, yet more often than not the edgers are atheists, if not following this lifestyle as its own religion.  Along with what I would characterize as a sick and compulsive attitude toward what a person does not do, is a superiority complex along with a highly judgmental attitude toward those who choose to use recreationally, along with addicts.  To their darkened and (a word I don’t use lightly) evil minds, those who use or are addicted must be weak at some level or they wouldn’t use something that alters or minimizes bad feeling as a crutch.  Being an edgetard is much more often about what other people do that disturbs them, and not about what they don’t or cannot do.

My personal belief is that those who don’t use alcohol or drugs simply don’t have the level or complexity of problems in their lives compared to those who do.  Every straight edge asshole I know, every single one of them came from loving homes, had most of not all of their college bills paid for by their parents, live in rural areas and oftentimes are still living with a parent or had their current place of living paid for or assisted with payment by a parent.  Are these examples of the norm in our society?  Perhaps it’s the new norm and this is why I conclude this:  They’re all over the Internet, Facebook and Twitter and spreading this new gospel of non-usage.  Add to that the many yuppies and twenty somethings with the rock climbing, exercise and vegan crazes (entirely different subjects yet closely related to being straight edge) and you have a new mantra of self-righteousness and “clean living” that rivals any world religion.  Yes, in my opinion, these are not fads but a major cultural and psychological shift.

Back to bullying.  More about me – I drink beer and I love it.  No plans to get an exercise regimen since I hate exercise.  I’m overweight but not by much, and since I don’t and will ever go on a diet, my weight never changes within a 10 lb. range.  I have a very stressful job, and a few personal issues, I drink outside of work, never come into work buzzed or under the influence, am one of the most responsible. loyal and trustworthy friends a person can have.  Humility?  I have some of it, yet I know who I am and know how hard I worked at not becoming as evil as people I witness inside and outside of work almost every day.  Yet, what happened?  Why do I write this?  Simple.  Observably and evidently, nobody has a right to complain or attempt to fix the bullying issue in children.  These motherfuckers I went to high school with, and the fucking edgetards I now know, and few religious people from my past, have, until I cut them all off from communicating with me recently, NEVER CHANGED THEIR WAYS and have BULLIED OR ATTEMPTED TO BULLY  ME for the last 3 to 5 years of my life.  There is no coincidence that websites like Facebook and Twitter have gained popularity and access to people from my past.

I must stress that those people who were always nice to me or never caused me any problems in my past who continue to be friends or are at the very least cordial to me.  There are perhaps a few very rare instances where a bully has become a decent person or at minimum, does not retaliate when I rant or post my typical angry tirades on Facebook, usually as a result of being reminded of my past in combination with a few drinks.  Somehow that equates to me being labeled an alcoholic, but that’s a different issue.  There is little doubt in my mind that the many bad apples in my life have caused part of the aforementioned damage in my psyche that I must now spend time, money and resources to fix or minimize the effect on myself nowadays.

By the way, with one exception there is not one person past nor present who has asked me for forgiveness or tried to reconcile with me in any way shape nor form.  I truly believe I don’t owe them forgiveness and feel at peace with that decision.  The act of forgiving would do nothing to relieve any current anger or other ill effects I experienced, another common misconception in our society.  I have a lot more to write about the twisted and mis-characterized topic of forgiveness, as in the phrase “forgive and forget” which is anti-spiritual, anti-Biblical and anti-Christian, and can be proven so easily by Bible verses as well as complete uselessness in any form of self-improvement and relief of psychological problems, but I’ll have to stop here as I have actual work for my employer to do.


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